The Ultimate Labour Victory Party Playlist

A Labour victory in this general election is highly unlikely. However, if Corbynstanbul does miraculously occur, you will need a suitable playlist to celebrate. Luckily for you, the perfect songs have been carefully chosen below, sequenced to guarantee the ultimate soundtrack to socialist euphoria.

Your JC victory party must start strong and there is no better way to commence than with the best song ever made by man – ‘Swang’ by Rae Sremmurd. Not only is ‘Swang’ one of mankind’s greatest ever creations and a deserved eigth wonder of the world, it is also officially endorsed by the Labour leader himself. In an interview with The Guardian, when asked if he preferred Rae Sremmurd or Migos, Jeremy said:

“For me, that’s a no-brainer. It’s Rae Sremmurd. Swae Lee has a vocal range that quite frankly shits all over the tired mumble rap of Migos. ‘Swang’ is a personal favourite, although ‘No Type’ runs it close.” (March 2017)

When asked the same question by The Telegraph, Theresa May declined to comment.

What better way to start than by playing ‘Swang’ another four times straight afterwards? This is followed by ‘Tire Me’ from Rage Against the Machine‘s 1996 album Evil Empire. This song will act as a celebration of Jez’s refusal to submit to the onslaught of attacks from Tory scum, right-wing press, and Blairite coups. Following that, ‘Swang’ should be played another seven times consecutively. Then it’s time for a mid-party breather with a folky Frank Turner classic, ‘Thatcher Fucked the Kids’ to revel in the impending death of Tory austerity. ‘Swang’ is then played four more times, because when it comes to ‘Swang’ we should be for the many, not the few.

Commemorate Jeremy’s anti-establishment campaign with Public Enemy‘s ‘Fight the Power’, followed by six more ‘Swang’s. You and your guests then have the chance to mosh for socialism with ‘Red Flag’ by Billy Talent, which is objectively an absolute rager.

It’s crucial to end strongly, so your playlist should play ‘Swang’ again for seventeen consecutive times, until finally you reach the finale of a drunken singalong to Billy Bragg‘s pro-labour anthem ‘There Is Power in a Union.’ There is no possible way that any sane party guest could object to a playlist this good.


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